Quotes by Les Dawson

Les Dawson

A square egg in a dish of lentils won’t make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid’s leg.

Growing Up

Squares

Wind

Despite the fact that feminists say they’re not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.

Facts

Feminist

Powerful

Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it’s a weeping willow.

Family

Tree

Weeping Willows

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

Funny Things

Tunnels

Wife

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

Ambition

Practicals

Sex

How can you analyse what is funny? What’s funny to one isn’t funny to another… What’s funny to you is a personal thing.

Personal Things

I can always tell when the mother in law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

Law

Mother

Sex Maniac

I discovered the wife’s got asthma. Thank God – I thought she was hissing at me.

Hissing

Thank God

Wife

I don’t mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored.

Long

Mind

Self Improvement

I knew I’d chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord’s Prayer on it.

Funny

Prayer

Travel

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Allowing

Ambition

And Love

Angel

Beer

Birth

Blood

Bother

Breathing

Centre

Certificates

Christmas

Clever

Couple

Dictionary

Doctors

Doors

Exercise

Faces

Facts

Family

Feminist

Funeral

Funny

Funny Things

Giving

Growing Up

Hands

Heaven

Hilarious

Hissing

Home

Horror

Humorous

Ideas

Kids

Knows

Lad

Lasts

Latin

Law

Life

Linked

Long

Love Is

Marriage

Men

Mind

Moon

Mother

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Les Dawson

Les Dawson

A square egg in a dish of lentils won’t make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid’s leg.

Despite the fact that feminists say they’re not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.

Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it’s a weeping willow.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

How can you analyse what is funny? What’s funny to one isn’t funny to another… What’s funny to you is a personal thing.

I can always tell when the mother in law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

I discovered the wife’s got asthma. Thank God – I thought she was hissing at me.

I don’t mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored.

I knew I’d chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord’s Prayer on it.

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Topics by Les Dawson

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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