Quotes by Victoria Wood

Victoria Wood

A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.

Female

Men

Toppings

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down – and a woman is designed to say, ‘you took your time’ when he comes back dripping wet.

Men

Phones

Rain

Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers

Crackers

Gay

Married

I have been in a youth hostel…You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

Kitchen

Luck

Venture

I haven’t got a waist. I’ve just got a sort of place … a bit like an unmarked level crossing.

Crossings

Havens

Levels

I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I’ve got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won’t bear any relation to what’s in your head and that’s always disappointing.

Pages

Scary

Writing

I wouldn’t kidnap a man for sex – I’m not saying I couldn’t use someone to oil the mower.

Men

Oil

Sex

I’ve never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I’ve never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.

Dance

Funny

Thinking

If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.

Ifs

Shoulders

If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It’s only when you act as if you’re someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.

People

Special

Treats

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Agents

Couple

Crackers

Crossings

Dance

Drink

Fats

Female

Funny

Gay

Girl

Girlfriend

Hate

Havens

Ifs

Inspirational

Intelligent

Kitchen

Lanes

Levels

Luck

Luxury

Mad

Married

Massage

Members

Men

Oil

Pages

Party

People

Phones

Rain

Royal

Running

Sandwiches

Scary

Sex

Sex Education

Shoulders

Special

Television

Thinking

Toppings

Treats

Venture

Writing

Years

The Future Blueprint

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The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

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The Autobiography

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Quotes by Victoria Wood

Victoria Wood

A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down – and a woman is designed to say, ‘you took your time’ when he comes back dripping wet.

Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers

I have been in a youth hostel…You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

I haven’t got a waist. I’ve just got a sort of place … a bit like an unmarked level crossing.

I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I’ve got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won’t bear any relation to what’s in your head and that’s always disappointing.

I wouldn’t kidnap a man for sex – I’m not saying I couldn’t use someone to oil the mower.

I’ve never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I’ve never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.

If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.

If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It’s only when you act as if you’re someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.

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Topics by Victoria Wood

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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