Quotes by Tim Vine

Tim Vine

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

Brother

Dad

Funny

As you get older you’re told to be sensible, but it’s important for writing if you’re a comic that you’re able to still access that childlike thing.

Able

Important

Writing

Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.

Believe

Funny

Humor

Black beauty – he’s a dark horse.

Beauty

Dark

Horse

Black holes. I don’t know what people see in them. Exit signs? They’re on their way out.

Funny

Humor

People

Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I’m not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.

Comedy

Different

Style

Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.

Eye

Site

Sore Eyes

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

Car

Different

Levels

For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.

Pun

Real

Real Life

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet ‘Best Before End…’

Funny

Humor

Today

Follow The Behaviour University in order to get the greatest quotes from the greatest people of all time so that you can tap into your own greatness.

Able

Acting

Beauty

Believe

Blokes

Blood

Blow

Bonus

Book

Brother

Butlers

Car

Childhood

Chimneys

Chinese

Circles

Clubs

Coffee

Collecting

Comedy

Confidence

Couple

Dad

Dark

Different

Dishes

Doctors

Doors

Ducks

Dust

Dvds

Eggs

Eye

Filing Cabinet

Firsts

Funny

Games

Garden

Giving

Glue

Holiday

Home

Hoover

Horse

House

Humor

Hunting

Ice

Ifs

Important

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Tim Vine

Tim Vine

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

As you get older you’re told to be sensible, but it’s important for writing if you’re a comic that you’re able to still access that childlike thing.

Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.

Black beauty – he’s a dark horse.

Black holes. I don’t know what people see in them. Exit signs? They’re on their way out.

Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I’m not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.

Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet ‘Best Before End…’

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Topics by Tim Vine

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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