Quotes by Red Skelton

Red Skelton

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, ‘I’ve been going for three months. ‘ I said, ‘How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?’ He said, ‘All of them. ‘

School

Successful

Three

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Inspirational

Marriage

Mistake

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Funny

Laughter

Running

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Exercise

Golf

Running

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

Dirty

Inspiration

Mother

I don’t hate my enemies. After all, I made ’em.

Ems

Enemy

Hate

I don’t pick on politicians. They ain’t done nothin’.

Done

Politician

Politics

I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn’t making money, they’d put me away.

Five

Making Money

Sixth Sense

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

Cooking

Food

Limits

I left home because I was hungry.

Home

Hungry

Left

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Age

Believe

Bread

Character

Cooking

Dirty

Divorce

Done

Ems

Enemy

Exercise

Five

Food

Funny

Giving

Golf

Happiness

Hate

Home

Humor

Hungry

Hurt

Inspiration

Inspirational

Laughing

Laughter

Left

Limits

Making Money

Marriage

Mind

Mistake

Mom

Mother

Names

Numbers

Old Age

Pain

People

Politician

Politics

Prayer

Prove

Purpose

Rooms

Running

School

Sixth Sense

Sleep

Sorry

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

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Quotes by Red Skelton

Red Skelton

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, ‘I’ve been going for three months. ‘ I said, ‘How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?’ He said, ‘All of them. ‘

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

I don’t hate my enemies. After all, I made ’em.

I don’t pick on politicians. They ain’t done nothin’.

I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn’t making money, they’d put me away.

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

I left home because I was hungry.

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Topics by Red Skelton

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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