Nick Thune Archives - The Behaviour University

I don’t know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that’s an insecurity and why we’re comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that’s all you’re wanted for.

Insecurity

People

Thinking

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I don’t want to follow comedians because I don’t want to see what they’re thinking about, ’cause then maybe I won’t stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.

Comedian

Thinking

Want

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I have a wife and anything. That’s the arrangement we have. I have a wife, and she’s cool. And also I have anything I want.

Arrangements

Want

Wife

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In my senior year of high school, I was working at a dealership washing cars. For some reason, I asked them to give me a shot as a salesman for a shift. What happened was I sold two cars in one day and they offered me the position. After a while I decided I didn’t want the job and so I told the manager I’d contracted HIV from having unprotected sex. It was only half true but I’d been feeling sick and somehow convinced myself I was really dying. I remember I sat in my boss’ office, the both of us crying. Later than night he calls my dad and says ‘I’m sorry your son has HIV.’ It was terrible.

Jobs

Senior

Sex

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People are writing shorter jokes. The style I’ve started with was almost trying to keep jokes under 140 characters before Twitter.

Character

People

Writing

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People can write jokes five minutes after a major world event happens, and have hundreds of thousands of people read them within 10 minutes. Whereas before you write a joke, you don’t know if anybody is really touching on it or not, and you tell it onstage the next night. For joke writing it has changed things.

Night

People

Writing

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The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating.

Roommate

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There’s a fear that I don’t think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny.

Opinion

People

Thinking

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Wouldn’t the world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes?

Blind

People

World

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You know what’s really good is a greyhound in the shower.

Greyhounds

Knows

Showers

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Quotes by Nick Thune

Nick Thune

I don’t know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that’s an insecurity and why we’re comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that’s all you’re wanted for.

I don’t want to follow comedians because I don’t want to see what they’re thinking about, ’cause then maybe I won’t stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.

I have a wife and anything. That’s the arrangement we have. I have a wife, and she’s cool. And also I have anything I want.

People are writing shorter jokes. The style I’ve started with was almost trying to keep jokes under 140 characters before Twitter.

The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating.

There’s a fear that I don’t think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny.

Wouldn’t the world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes?

You know what’s really good is a greyhound in the shower.

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