Quotes by Lynne Truss

Lynne Truss

…when a phone call competes for attention with a real-world conversation, it wins. Everyone knows the distinctive high-and-dry feeling of being abandoned for a phone call, and of having to compensate – with quite elaborate behaviours = for the sudden half-disappearance of the person we were just speaking to. ‘Go ahead!’ we say. ‘Don’t mind us! Oh look, here’s a magazine I can read!’ When the call is over, other rituals come into play, to minimise the disruption caused and to restore good feeling.

Phones

Real

Winning

A Panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots into the air. “Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes toward the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder. “I’m a Panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.” The waiter turns to the relevant entry, and, sure enough, finds an explanation. Panda. Large black and white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.

Black And White

Confused

Gun

After university, I got a job sub-editing and for years I was a literary editor.

Editing

Jobs

Years

All writers learn this, in time: don’t show your work to other people until it’s safely finished. Even discussing your unborn book in quite general terms can be such an undermining experience that, afterwards, you give it up and go to live in Guatemala.

Book

Giving

People

As someone who sends texts messages more or less non-stop, I enjoy one particular aspect of texting more than anything else: that it is possible to sit in a crowded railway carriage laboriously spelling out quite long words in full, and using an enormous amount of punctuation, without anyone being aware of how outrageously subversive I am being.

Long

Messages

Texting

As with email, the recipient of a texted question seems to have the option to ignore it, while nevertheless saying hello, lovely day, and so on.

Lovely

Saying Hello

Brackets come in various shapes, types and names: 1 round brackets (which we call brackets, and the Americans call parentheses) 2 square brackets [which we call square brackets, and the Americans call brackets]

Names

Shapes

Squares

Do you lend books and DVDs to people? If so, don’t you always regret it? All my life I have forced books on to people who have subsequently forgotten all about it. Meanwhile, on my shelves sit many orphaned books loaned to me over the years by trusting, innocent souls – some as long ago as the Seventies.

Book

Dvds

Regret

Don’t pessimism and caution naturally go hand in hand?

Caution

Hands

Pessimism

Evidently an A level in English is a sacred trust, like something out of “The Lord of the Rings”. You must go forth with your A level and protect the English language with your bow of elfin gold.

Gold

Levels

Sacred

Follow The Behaviour University in order to get the greatest quotes from the greatest people of all time so that you can tap into your own greatness.

Advantage

Answers

Arbitrary

Attention

Average

Behave

Believe

Black

Black And White

Book

Brain

Brother

Care

Cat

Causes

Caution

Challenges

Character

Children

Choices

Cia Agents

Clever

Comedian

Comes And Goes

Common

Communication

Confused

Couple

Dad

Defects

Degrees

Details

Detours

Doe

Drama

Drawing

Dvds

Editing

Effort

Eggs

Emotional

Ends

Enemy

Errors

Exclamation Marks

Expression

Eye

Fall

Feelings

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Lynne Truss

Lynne Truss

After university, I got a job sub-editing and for years I was a literary editor.

All writers learn this, in time: don’t show your work to other people until it’s safely finished. Even discussing your unborn book in quite general terms can be such an undermining experience that, afterwards, you give it up and go to live in Guatemala.

As with email, the recipient of a texted question seems to have the option to ignore it, while nevertheless saying hello, lovely day, and so on.

Brackets come in various shapes, types and names: 1 round brackets (which we call brackets, and the Americans call parentheses) 2 square brackets [which we call square brackets, and the Americans call brackets]

Don’t pessimism and caution naturally go hand in hand?

Evidently an A level in English is a sacred trust, like something out of “The Lord of the Rings”. You must go forth with your A level and protect the English language with your bow of elfin gold.

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Topics by Lynne Truss

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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