Quotes by Lewis Grizzard

Lewis Grizzard

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.

Feel Good

Feels

I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.

Aging

Hate

Men

I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.

Letters

People

Three

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

Educated

Knows

People

I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

Noses

Smoking

If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

Feet

Georgia

Nails

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

Dog

Never Change

Scenery

In the south there’s a difference between ‘Naked’ and ‘Nekkid.’ ‘Naked’ means you don’t have any clothes on. ‘Nekkid’ means you don’t have any clothes on and you’re up to somethin’.

Clothes

Differences

Mean

It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

Children

News

Scandal

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Ducks

Sex

Use

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Aging

Attitude

Care

Children

Clothes

Crazy

Differences

Dog

Driving

Ducks

Educated

Feel Good

Feels

Feet

Flats

Football

Frozen

Fun

Funny

Georgia

Grows

Guidance

Hate

Heart

Knows

Learning

Letters

Life

Locks

Love

Mean

Men

Money

Motivational

Nails

Never Change

New York

News

Noses

People

Reading

Sadness

Scandal

Scenery

Sex

Smoking

Southern

Success

Three

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Lewis Grizzard

Lewis Grizzard

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.

I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.

I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

In the south there’s a difference between ‘Naked’ and ‘Nekkid.’ ‘Naked’ means you don’t have any clothes on. ‘Nekkid’ means you don’t have any clothes on and you’re up to somethin’.

It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

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Topics by Lewis Grizzard

Popular Tools

The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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