Quotes by Judy Tenuta

Judy Tenuta

Friends are just enemies who don’t have enough guts to kill you.

Anger

Bad Friend

Friendship

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

Dating

Suicidal

Suicide

I am a morning person…I love waking up, walking & reveling In the beauty of all the flowers and trees….while chugging a 5th of vodka!!! It could happen.

Flower

Morning

Tree

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that’s a healing experience. It’s like music. A lot of music is really healing.

Healing

Laughing

Want

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn’t exist.

Philosophy

Professors

I should have my own show by now. Yeah. How many damn sitcoms does Kelsey Grammer need? How many more stupid Housewives do they need throwing tables and limbs at each other. Yeah, I guess I need to take off my artificial leg and throw it at Vanderpump. I like doing live shows – it’s just getting to them that’s a hassle.Doing films is fun too … a good film … but there’s a lot of waiting around.

Fun

Stupid

Waiting Around

I think it might be harder for a young comic because there’s so much more competition. There’s more people trying to do it and there are less rooms. Seriously. The way people do anything now is by getting press – some scandal. It’s awful. Somebody has to go on a rooftop with a rifle and they get their own sitcom. It’s disgusting.

Competition

People

Thinking

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

Chains

Littles

Turned Down

I was born a Love Goddess. My parents, Caesar and Joanne, always told me that I was a little Goddess and Petite Flower. I was a Petite Flower, and I had all these brothers who were always trying to boss me around. I told them, “No. You must kiss my hand or kiss my feet”. That’s how I became the Goddess.

Brother

Flower

Kissing

I was nominated for two Grammy’s, but … more importantly, I like it when I get a letter from someone … a person that I’ve affected their lives or I’ve helped them. That’s important to me. Someone will say “I was feeling bad and you helped me”.

Feelings

Important

Two

Follow The Behaviour University in order to get the greatest quotes from the greatest people of all time so that you can tap into your own greatness.

Anger

Bad Friend

Body

Bottles

Brother

Chains

Competition

Crazy

Dating

Daughter

Eye

Feelings

Flower

Friendship

Fun

Gay

Giving

God Love

Goddess

Half

Healing

Helping

Husband

Important

Italian

Kissing

Laughing

Littles

Mattresses

Mean

Memorable

Men

Mom

Morning

People

Philosophy

Polish

Professors

Real

School

Sorry

Stupid

Success

Suicidal

Suicide

Thinking

Training

Tree

Turned Down

Two

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

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The Behaviour Diary

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The Dating Diary

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The Relationship Therapist

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Quotes by Judy Tenuta

Judy Tenuta

Friends are just enemies who don’t have enough guts to kill you.

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

I am a morning person…I love waking up, walking & reveling In the beauty of all the flowers and trees….while chugging a 5th of vodka!!! It could happen.

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that’s a healing experience. It’s like music. A lot of music is really healing.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn’t exist.

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

I was nominated for two Grammy’s, but … more importantly, I like it when I get a letter from someone … a person that I’ve affected their lives or I’ve helped them. That’s important to me. Someone will say “I was feeling bad and you helped me”.

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Topics by Judy Tenuta

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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