Quotes by Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

‘Powell movement.’ What do you think ‘PM’ stands for?

Movement

Pms

Thinking

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(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It’s scary I know, but we’re not going to let al Qaeda tell us what to do. In fact, our government has decided that if al Qaeda attempts to disrupt our democratic process, we are going to respond by disrupting it first.

Als

Government

Scary

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[CNN, USA Today] they’ve got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith’s baby get a new father?

Baby

Father

Usa

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[Doogal] wasn’t even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.

Animated

Audience

Moving

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[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.

Might

Sound

Thirst

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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.

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[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don’t know if I can physically do this, implode.

Democracy

Iraq

President

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[John McCain] didn’t believe me. I think anybody who’s been in a POW camp for five years can – take eight minutes on The Daily Show.

Believe

Thinking

Years

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[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, “I’m just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud,” all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren’t relevant to what we were talking about.

Honor

Proud

Talking

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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: … ‘My answer is bring ’em on.’ For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He’s actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.

Cowboy

Fighting

Soldier

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