Quotes by John Mulaney

John Mulaney

“The Doula” was and is a very, very special episode to me because I think it’s very funny and very weird and it also is 100 percent based on my life, in that I fainted three times during Sex Ed in real life the three different years.

Real

Sex

Thinking

A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they are seated to them ordering or taking a sip of a drink, these can make a comedian go harder and faster in a club.

Comedian

People

Sitting

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.

Accounts

Dad

Saving

An episode that is near and dear to my heart is the entire cast in one room for the night because we get bed bugs in our apartment building so we have to stay with Martin Short.

Bed

Heart

Night

As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don’t know, I just got quieter With my friends, I was still an extrovert.

Inward

Real

School

Being president looks like the worst job in the world.

Jobs

Looks

President

Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.

Baby

Beautiful

Perfect

Everyone’s very relaxed about brand names in television.

Brands

Names

Television

Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I’m new in town.

Gay

Homeless

Towns

Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.

Cities

Grateful

Home

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Accounts

Acting

Animal

Animated

Baby

Badness

Beautiful

Bed

Boards

Book

Brands

Cameras

Children

Cities

Clubs

Comedian

Comedy

Comfort

Compare

Controversial

Country

Couple

Crazy

Crowds

Cutting

Dad

Different

Documentaries

Done

Down And

Drinking

Emcee

Emotional

Enjoy

Enjoyed

Exhaustion

Expectations

Failing

Fine

Firsts

Friday

Fun

Games

Garbage

Gay

Girl

Giving

Good Times

Grateful

Having A Good Time

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by John Mulaney

John Mulaney

“The Doula” was and is a very, very special episode to me because I think it’s very funny and very weird and it also is 100 percent based on my life, in that I fainted three times during Sex Ed in real life the three different years.

A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they are seated to them ordering or taking a sip of a drink, these can make a comedian go harder and faster in a club.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.

An episode that is near and dear to my heart is the entire cast in one room for the night because we get bed bugs in our apartment building so we have to stay with Martin Short.

As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don’t know, I just got quieter With my friends, I was still an extrovert.

Being president looks like the worst job in the world.

Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.

Everyone’s very relaxed about brand names in television.

Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I’m new in town.

Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.

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Topics by John Mulaney

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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