Quotes by Jeff Ross

Jeff Ross

Before you can be all deprecating it’s helpful to be self-deprecating.

Helpful

Self

Self Deprecating

Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

Charlie

Larry

Standing

Comedy comes from pain, and no one knows that better than this woman Roseanne Barr—who was molested as a child. Uch. That poor molester. Roseanne never got over it. She felt violated. She had trust issues. She never got the candy he promised her.

Children

Issues

Pain

I had a life experience that most of my – that none of my friends had. I remember I became everybody’s rabbi. Everybody who needed advice would talk to me, and it became an obvious thing.

Advice

Obvious Things

Remember

I’ve actually tried to roast somebody that I don’t like, and it doesn’t go well. Either they’re a bad sport or I’m not as funny as I could be.

Bad Grades

Sports

Wells

In Boston where community policing is so important, they don’t necessarily have to like each other, but they know each other. The cops in Boston make it their business to get out of their vehicles, to engage the public, to walk around the neighborhoods. They live in the community that they police. And I think these things help.

Boston

Community

Thinking

It really bothers me when some people say that all cops are racist. Of course that’s not true. Most of you are just [expletive] to everybody.

Cop

People

Racist

It’s very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don’t hear too much of that anymore.

Comedian

School

Too Much

Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.

Achievement

Age

Canada

Life has to keep going, so you can either be a victim the rest of your life and let it drag you down into drugs and alcohol and depression or you can turn it into something good, fun even, you know, and I tell young people who are going through depression that this might be the most important time of your life. This might be what makes you a great artist later on.

Artist

Fun

People

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Achievement

Advice

Age

Artist

Bad Grades

Bigs

Boston

Canada

Careers

Charlie

Children

Comedian

Community

Cop

Corny

Fun

Happy Accidents

Has Beens

Helpful

India

Issues

Larry

Laughing

Life Is

Life Is Short

Mexico

Moving

Obvious Things

Pain

People

Racist

Real

Remember

School

Second Chance

Self

Self Deprecating

Sports

Standing

Stars

Thinking

Too Much

Tough

Wells

Worry

The Future Blueprint

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The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

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The Autobiography

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The Behaviour Diary

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Quotes by Jeff Ross

Jeff Ross

Before you can be all deprecating it’s helpful to be self-deprecating.

Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

Comedy comes from pain, and no one knows that better than this woman Roseanne Barr—who was molested as a child. Uch. That poor molester. Roseanne never got over it. She felt violated. She had trust issues. She never got the candy he promised her.

I had a life experience that most of my – that none of my friends had. I remember I became everybody’s rabbi. Everybody who needed advice would talk to me, and it became an obvious thing.

I’ve actually tried to roast somebody that I don’t like, and it doesn’t go well. Either they’re a bad sport or I’m not as funny as I could be.

It really bothers me when some people say that all cops are racist. Of course that’s not true. Most of you are just [expletive] to everybody.

It’s very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don’t hear too much of that anymore.

Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.

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Topics by Jeff Ross

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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