Quotes by Jay Leno

Jay Leno

“I am not just another notch on your belt?” she asked him. “Of course not.” he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.

Belts

Justice

Said

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“This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That’s like a record.

France

Records

Two

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(Gray) Davis said yesterday that he is going to fight like a Bengal tiger, which I believe is also an endangered species.

Believe

Fighting

Yesterday

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(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It is kind of the opposite way we elect a president.

Opposites

People

President

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106 [degrees] in the valley… I was sweating like Dan Rather checking for forged documents.

Degrees

Sweating

Valleys

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50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!

Men

People

Romance

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55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time!

Mean

Remote Control

Week

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65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

Cheating

Income

People

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9% would give up sex for the remote control. 91% has already given up sex for the remote control!

Giving Up

Remote Control

Sex

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A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

Dog

Funny

Training

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