Quotes by Jack Benny

Jack Benny

A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

Men

Rich

Shows

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Children

Funny

Laughter

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Age

Matter

Mind

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Elderly

Funny

Happy Birthday

Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents – that’s my kind of guy.

Book

Men

Snow

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.

California

Class

Funny

Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he’s the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I’ve ever met. And I’ll say that to his face – even if it costs me my job.

Boss

Cost

Jobs

Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.

Ignorance

Names

Principles

Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.

Accidents

Happened

Gags die, humor doesn’t.

Death

Gags

Humor

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Accidents

Age

Air

Als

Beautiful

Believe

Book

Boss

Business

California

Car

Careers

Carnegie

Carnegie Hall

Children

Class

Comedian

Cooking

Cost

Crazy

Cutting

Death

Dinner

Doctors

Dollars

Dump

Earthquakes

Elderly

Exaggeration Is

Facts

Fall

Firsts

Food

Funny

Funny Love

Gags

Garlands

Girl

Giving

Golf

Happened

Happy Birthday

Hate

Hollywood

Humor

Humorous

Hurt

Ignorance

Jobs

Knowing

The Future Blueprint

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The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

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The Autobiography

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The Behaviour Diary

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The Relationship Therapist

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Quotes by Jack Benny

Jack Benny

A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents – that’s my kind of guy.

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.

Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he’s the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I’ve ever met. And I’ll say that to his face – even if it costs me my job.

Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.

Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.

Gags die, humor doesn’t.

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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