Quotes by Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress

‘SNL’ is the first real job I’ve held for more than a month and a half.

Half

Jobs

Real

Acting is fun; it’s easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That’s ultimately what I’d like to do.

Fun

Tv Shows

Writing

Don’t thank the lord, I gave you that compliment… Thank me.

Compliment

Lord

God sounds kinda like a shitty father to me. If God was so powerful why’d he have to give his son up? It sounds like God owed someone some money and they couldn’t get to him, so they murked his son. That’s what I really think happened. Jesus got stabbed up in an alley… but it’s easier to sell crucifixes. You can’t sell a pendant of someone getting shanked up In the alley. It’s a marketing scheme.

Father

Jesus

Powerful

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, ‘Why do you want to work at Starbucks?’ Uh, because my life is in shambles.

Jobs

Life Is

Want

I can work as a writer, but I wanted to do stand-up. And I knew I could, at worst, work as a stand-up. And I like to travel, and I knew I wanted to do an hour special, so in order to get ready for that, I had to hit the road.

Hours

Order

Special

I didn’t audition for ‘SNL.’ I sent in a tape to ‘SNL’ the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.

Jobs

Writing

Years

I didn’t really get into comedy until a couple months before I started doing comedy.

Comedy

Couple

Months

I don’t believe in cancer walks. Well, I believe in them because they exist but I’d rather just give money straight up and save my Saturday afternoon. I can make my own t-shirt, that’s not incentive. Plus I don’t think cancer responds to how far people walk. I don’t think cancer’s sitting at home, ‘What? How many people walked how far? How many people walked how far wearing the same shirt? That’s crazy! I’m out of here!’ Remission.

Believe

Cancer

Crazy

I don’t even know how to use a semicolon to this day; I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that’s not a person I want to work with anyway. And that’s how you weed people out of your life.

People

Upset

Weed

Follow The Behaviour University in order to get the greatest quotes from the greatest people of all time so that you can tap into your own greatness.

Acting

Actors

Air

Apples

Art

Baby

Barca

Batteries

Becoming

Believe

Black

Bombing

Bother

Bullshit

Burritos

Cancer

Challenges

Chicago

Cities

Comedian

Comedy

Compare

Compliment

Confidence

Couple

Crazy

Creating

Dad

Days Off

Different

Doors

Dumb

Fans

Father

Fun

Funny

Get Better

Graduation

Guy

Half

Home

Hometown

Hours

Ideas

Interesting

Jesus

Jobs

Kind

Lap

Life Is

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress

‘SNL’ is the first real job I’ve held for more than a month and a half.

Acting is fun; it’s easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That’s ultimately what I’d like to do.

Don’t thank the lord, I gave you that compliment… Thank me.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, ‘Why do you want to work at Starbucks?’ Uh, because my life is in shambles.

I can work as a writer, but I wanted to do stand-up. And I knew I could, at worst, work as a stand-up. And I like to travel, and I knew I wanted to do an hour special, so in order to get ready for that, I had to hit the road.

I didn’t audition for ‘SNL.’ I sent in a tape to ‘SNL’ the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.

I didn’t really get into comedy until a couple months before I started doing comedy.

I don’t even know how to use a semicolon to this day; I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that’s not a person I want to work with anyway. And that’s how you weed people out of your life.

Get Social with TBU

Topics by Hannibal Buress

Popular Tools

The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

Menu

Menu