Quotes by Gary Gulman

Gary Gulman

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

Charlie

Children

Teacher

Do you know what Bill Gates has to pull out of an old coat, to feel like I did with a $20 bill? First of all, the idea that Bill Gates has an old coat is preposterous. If he has an old coat, it’s the coat Abe Lincoln was shot in and he wears it as a bathrobe – no underwear by the way. He lets his billionaire balls swing willy-nilly beneath the death cloak of the great emancipator. That’s your 1%.

Ideas

Swings

Underwear

Don’t go back over your life with a red pen.

Over You

Pens

Red

Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you’re going? I don’t even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard… Some people slow down at those things… I don’t slow down. I speed up and set the high score.

Attention

Dashboards

People

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

Sugar

Sugar Cookies

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

Records

Writing

Years

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

Brother

Strangers And Friends

Years

I hate nickels; they’re quarter impersonators.

Hate

Nickels

Quarters

I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don’t fall directly back to sleep, I’m like, ‘I’ve been up for an hour and a half I could have watched ‘Toy Story 3′ by now.’ In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.

Fall

Night

Sleep

I just always wonder if I’m too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

Obsessive

Trying

Wonder

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Als

Asking

Athlete

Attention

Basketball

Born

Boston

Brother

Buttons

Careers

Catholic

Certain

Charlie

Children

Christian

Coffee

College

Comedian

Common

Confidence

Couple

Creativity

Crowds

Dad

Dashboards

Devil

Different

Drug

Ears

Events

Fall

Family

Fun

Games

Gay

Gold

Growing

Growing Up

Guitar

Guy

Gypsy

Hair

Halloween

Hate

Hobbies

Ideas

Invention

Iraq

Ironic

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

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The Autobiography

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The Behaviour Diary

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The Dating Diary

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The Relationship Therapist

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Quotes by Gary Gulman

Gary Gulman

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

Don’t go back over your life with a red pen.

Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you’re going? I don’t even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard… Some people slow down at those things… I don’t slow down. I speed up and set the high score.

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

I hate nickels; they’re quarter impersonators.

I just always wonder if I’m too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

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Topics by Gary Gulman

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

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