Quotes by Felipe Esparza

Felipe Esparza

A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day.

Men

Needs

Real

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

Children

Hip Hop

Support

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

Airplane

Cougars

Jokes

Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better the audience was at heckling me. But it helped me with my joke writing.

Comedy

Heckling

Writing

Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.

Beer

Halloween

Hot

I also had a stuttering problem. In a Mexican home they don’t give you speech therapy; they don’t even know what speech therapy is. They just get the belt. If there’s a parrot in the house, you better talk better than the parrot.

Giving

Home

Mexican

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

Comedian

Comedy

Mexico

I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body – this is a tell nobody.

Body

Light

Shirts

I didn’t know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That’s what I learned. I didn’t know how to put a set together.

Comedy

Materials

Together

I don’t know any skinny people who bully fat people. I just know skinny people who use fat people for rides.

Bully

People

Use

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Airplane

Ambush

America

Baby

Beer

Body

Brother

Bully

Burritos

Car

Children

Cocaine

Coffee

Comedian

Comedy

Cougars

Cousin

Cry

Cutting

Dad

Degrees

Dinner

Drinking

Drug

Envy

Eye

Fats

Fighting

Fun

Gay

Getting Older

Giving

Growing Up

Halloween

Hands

Hate

Heckling

Hip Hop

Home

Hot

Husband

Iraq

Jokes

Kids

Latino

Lawyer

Light

Looks

Mama

Materials

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Felipe Esparza

Felipe Esparza

A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better the audience was at heckling me. But it helped me with my joke writing.

Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.

I also had a stuttering problem. In a Mexican home they don’t give you speech therapy; they don’t even know what speech therapy is. They just get the belt. If there’s a parrot in the house, you better talk better than the parrot.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body – this is a tell nobody.

I didn’t know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That’s what I learned. I didn’t know how to put a set together.

I don’t know any skinny people who bully fat people. I just know skinny people who use fat people for rides.

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Topics by Felipe Esparza

Popular Tools

The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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