Quotes by Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen

[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they’re so busy trying to win the debate.

Ideas

Teacher

Winning

All communication is more or less cross-cultural. We learn to use language as we grow up, and growing up in different parts of the country, having different ethnic, religious, or class backgrounds, even just being male or female – all result in different ways of talking.

Country

Growing Up

Religious

All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.

Conversation

Doe

Recognition

any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life.

Criticism

People

Powerful

But if you parry individuals points – a negative and defensive enterprise – you never step back and actively imagine a world in which a different system of ideas could be true – a positive act.

Different

Ideas

Negative

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence

Cogs

Communication

Independence

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone.

Cogs

Communication

Independence

Cooperation isn’t the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.

Conflict

Cooperation

Mean

Critiquing relieves you of the responsibility of doing integrative thinking.

Responsibility

Thinking

Each person’s life is lived as a series of conversations.

Communication

Conversation

Life Is

Follow The Behaviour University in order to get the greatest quotes from the greatest people of all time so that you can tap into your own greatness.

Agreement

Argument

Authority

Baseball

Believe

Character

Cogs

Communication

Complicated

Conflict

Connections

Conversation

Cooperation

Country

Criticism

Daughter

Decision

Dichotomy

Different

Discord

Diversity

Doe

Doors

Effort

Equal Treatment

Events

Father

Feels

Female

Fighting

Focus

Frustration

Gender

Girl

Gone

Growing Up

Hands

Heart

Ideas

Ifs

Independence

Issues

Justice

Keys

Language

Life Is

Littles

Long

Looks

Love Is

The Future Blueprint

Tool

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

Tool

The Behaviour Diary

Tool

The Dating Diary

Tool

The Relationship Therapist

Tool

Quotes by Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen

[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they’re so busy trying to win the debate.

All communication is more or less cross-cultural. We learn to use language as we grow up, and growing up in different parts of the country, having different ethnic, religious, or class backgrounds, even just being male or female – all result in different ways of talking.

All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.

any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life.

But if you parry individuals points – a negative and defensive enterprise – you never step back and actively imagine a world in which a different system of ideas could be true – a positive act.

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone.

Cooperation isn’t the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.

Critiquing relieves you of the responsibility of doing integrative thinking.

Each person’s life is lived as a series of conversations.

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Topics by Deborah Tannen

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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