Quotes by Christian Finnegan

Christian Finnegan

Basically Britney Spears’ video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.

Half

Three

Video

Basically, I got into stand-up because I’m too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.

Actors

Egocentric

Enough

Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

America

Canada

Light

Do me a favor, guys. Don’t drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we’re talking about; every dude knows.

Favors

Guy

Talking

I think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.

America

Speak

Thinking

I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

Band

Bass

Play

I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.

Needs

People

Physicians

I’d like to think I’m a little more memorable or specific now. People laugh at me in a way they wouldn’t laugh at another comedian, rather than being like, “Okay, who’s the next joke-slinger? Give me some jokes so I may laugh and go about my day!”

Memorable

People

Thinking

I’m not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.

Alcoholics

Drink

Way

I’m working on something a little different. It’s a technique I call, ‘tantric abstinence.’ Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she’s considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.

Awkward

Sleep

Starting Over

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Actors

Alcoholics

Als

America

Avoiding

Awkward

Band

Bass

Blame

Broken Spirit

Canada

Car

Charity

College

Couple

Disappointment

Drink

Effort

Egocentric

Enough

External Forces

Facts

Favors

Genius

Guy

Half

Hate

Heart

Intellectual

Intelligence

Intelligent

Jesus

Jobs

Light

Memorable

Might

Mistake

Molestation

Monkeys

Names

Needs

Nice

People

Physicians

Pigs

Pimp

Play

Political

Politics

Powerful

The Future Blueprint

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The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

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The Autobiography

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The Behaviour Diary

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The Relationship Therapist

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Quotes by Christian Finnegan

Christian Finnegan

Basically Britney Spears’ video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.

Basically, I got into stand-up because I’m too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.

Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

Do me a favor, guys. Don’t drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we’re talking about; every dude knows.

I think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.

I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.

I’d like to think I’m a little more memorable or specific now. People laugh at me in a way they wouldn’t laugh at another comedian, rather than being like, “Okay, who’s the next joke-slinger? Give me some jokes so I may laugh and go about my day!”

I’m not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.

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Topics by Christian Finnegan

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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