Quotes by Artie Lange

Artie Lange

‘Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.

Sports

Way

World

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

Christian

Drinking

Weekend

A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don’t realize this, he’s a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he’d ground out to second for him.

Baseball

Couple

Sports

And now it looks like I’m probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard.

Looks

Stars

By the time I am Howard’s age I hope to be long retired. I don’t plan on working that long.

Age

Long

Plans

Don’t do drugs to be cool, do ’em because you hate yourself.

Drug

Ems

Hate

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it’s funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something’s funny and you’re the subject of it, sometimes it’s more offensive. If someone’s insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

Insulting

Sound

Want

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

Fine

Kind

Vegas

For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer’s kid’s bar mitzvah.

Kids

Memories

Vegas

Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there’s 18 websites that predict my early death.

Being Depressed

Firsts

Website

Follow The Behaviour University in order to get the greatest quotes from the greatest people of all time so that you can tap into your own greatness.

Accidents

Age

Alive

All Night

Apologizing

Art

Artist

Baseball

Being Depressed

Boss

Careers

Christian

Clay

College

Comedy

Couple

Critics

Dad

Dark

Darling

Dresses

Drink

Drinking

Drug

Ems

Exciting

Fall

Fellas

Fighting

Fine

Firsts

Gambling

Gay

Good Night

Gps

Gun

Guy

Half

Hate

Heroin

Hug

Ifs

Influence

Insulting

Jokes

Kids

Kind

Kissing

Lasts

Long

The Future Blueprint

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The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

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The Behaviour Diary

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The Dating Diary

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The Relationship Therapist

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Quotes by Artie Lange

Artie Lange

‘Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don’t realize this, he’s a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he’d ground out to second for him.

And now it looks like I’m probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard.

By the time I am Howard’s age I hope to be long retired. I don’t plan on working that long.

Don’t do drugs to be cool, do ’em because you hate yourself.

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it’s funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something’s funny and you’re the subject of it, sometimes it’s more offensive. If someone’s insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer’s kid’s bar mitzvah.

Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there’s 18 websites that predict my early death.

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Topics by Artie Lange

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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