Quotes by Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer

Comedy isn’t really something where you get discovered. You can’t network your way to being funny or talented. It’s not hard to get seen if you’re funny. If you’re funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.

Comedy

Hard Work

Way

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

Boundaries

Dresses

Matter

He was really into family… He’d never come on the road with me on the weekends ’cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.

Family

Weekend

Wife

I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college … or, uh, the ones that would get naked.

College

Naked

Play

I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.

Fearless

Fire

Hot

I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

Mother

Sleep

Weight

I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn’t have any. They offered me Pinot.

Chardonnay

Glasses

Twists

I care about what the people I care about think about me. It’s a short list, but I really care about what those people think.

Care

People

Thinking

I donated blood today. That’s what I call getting an AIDS test.

Blood

Tests

Today

I hate false advertising, like ‘Skittles: taste the rainbow.’ No one’s ever been like, ‘Rainbow, right you guys?’ Or what’s Reese’s? ‘There’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s.’ Oh, really? Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear. Alright, maybe your uncles didn’t love you.

Hate

Love You

Uncles

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Age

Backgrounds

Bathroom

Beautiful

Best Night

Best Night Of My Life

Blood

Boundaries

Cameras

Cancer

Care

Chardonnay

Children

College

Comedian

Comedy

Congratulations

Dad

Different

Dresses

Drinking

Drug

Drunk

Empowering

Family

Fearless

Fire

Force

Fun

Funny

Girl

Glamour

Glasses

Good Person

Guy

Hard

Hard Work

Hate

Healthy

Home

Honesty

Hot

Ideas

Inspiration

Inspirational

Jokes

Kids

Laughing

Lazy

Lifts

The Future Blueprint

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The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

Tool

The Autobiography

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The Behaviour Diary

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The Dating Diary

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The Relationship Therapist

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Quotes by Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer

Comedy isn’t really something where you get discovered. You can’t network your way to being funny or talented. It’s not hard to get seen if you’re funny. If you’re funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

He was really into family… He’d never come on the road with me on the weekends ’cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.

I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college … or, uh, the ones that would get naked.

I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.

I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn’t have any. They offered me Pinot.

I care about what the people I care about think about me. It’s a short list, but I really care about what those people think.

I donated blood today. That’s what I call getting an AIDS test.

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Topics by Amy Schumer

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The Future Blueprint

The Home Therapist: Anti Anxiety

The Autobiography

The Behaviour Diary

The Dating Diary

The Relationship Therapist

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